Journal

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 00:07:41 GMT

I have a marketing exam tomorrow that I havent studied for. I dont even know what the topic is! Oh I can easily look it up, but I've found that Im a real natural at mareking. I never once studied nor read the book and I'm still getting nearly straight A's in that class.

Floriana and I made up after 2 MONTHS of arguing. I'm gunna tell my mom that we're still in a fight though, 'cause my mom would kill me if she heard we were friends again. .....my mom holds strong grudges. :-/

I got harassed by a psycho today. >_>

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:48:39 GMT

So I was sitting on the subway train today, quietly reading the paper - it was flipped open to an article about the homeless on our streets. And this middle-aged guy walks up to me and yells (yes, YELLED) that its "Those stupid college students who are responsible for poverty!" I looked up at him and said, "Excuse me?" He proceeded to yell at me, claiming that college students dont pay back their loans, and its THEIR fault that America is in a financial crisis. When I tried to respond, he cut me off by going on a rant about how college is pointless. I told him that people go to college get better jobs but people who don't go to college end up working for low wages. Then he accused me of being an "arrogant elitist" that "discriminated against everyone who doesn't go to college." He called me foolish for continuing my education. He said our founding fathers 300+ years ago never went to college but they became great politicians. I told him times have changed since the days of horses and buggys and we need more education for modern jobs. THAT got him pissed off, as if he wasn't angry enough already. By this point, everyone on the train was listening, even people with their ipods on. So then this woman starts yelling at the guy, telling him to stop harassing me, but he just kept on yelling. She proceeded to take over the argument from there. Every time I tried to cut in, the guy just cut me off and acted as though my opinion didn't count. 0_0 This went on for five minutes. I could have had the guy arrested.

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 05:32:17 GMT

I honestly love my job. Despite that its a large retail store in a heavily populated area, my managers and co-workers make it all worth it. I honestly believed my managers had every right to be angry with me for requesting two weeks off. Why didnt they fire me? Why are they still nice to me? I dont get it, but I realized that I would like to keep working, even after the holidays are over.

first love

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 00:41:44 GMT

So my old friend Al invited me over to watch the football game with the guys tomorrow. Great! I thought. But then I realized... one of his best friends, aka "my first love" may be there. Its been 3 friggin' years and I still get sweaty palms around this guy. Not cause I miss him. I dont. I just get.... uneasy. I think maybe he still hasnt forgiven me. Even though the last time we talked, he smiled at me and gave me an old kitchen pan that he didnt want anymore. We even joked around! But was that just him being polite? Agh. >.<

.....and its not like our breakup was all MY fault, ya know! HE ignored ME!

semi serious post

Mon, 28 Jul 2008 21:47:48 GMT

I have a hard time being open and honest with people about whats REALLY going on in my life. I mean personal struggles, thoughts Im afraid to say out loud, or God forbid I mention my fears. Part of me feels like I have to put on a face as if everything is A-ok, even if my world is falling apart. Last night, I actually spilled some personal issues on a "self-help" type message board. Its a place for people to talk about their personal drama and ask for advice. In an impulse move, I joined and admitted things that have been really bothering me; things that I would only tell my closest friends. Afterwords I felt so self-conscious that I tried deleting the post, but it wouldnt let me. And earlier today I made a post on LJ that I deleted cause I was talking about some fears. Once in my poetry class I wrote a poem about my struggles and my teacher loved it so much that he entered it in a contest. "Its got a lot of passion," he said. But I felt so embarassed because it wasnt painting a pretty picture of my life. I felt like I needed to apologize for something. ....but on that self-help website, someone DID respond to my post, and you know what? It DID help. I think I just need to learn to be honest and open to people and not be ashamed of any dirt in my life, cause everyone's got that.

.....on an off topic note, someone left me the BEST tip ever today!!! It wasnt money! It was a nice bottle of wine, with a note saying how pleasant the service was at the resort. She also left me Heinekin in the fridge. That made my day.

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 05:14:44 GMT

So I was reading stuff about hand-washing your clothes in a bathtub. My apartment that Im moving into at the end of next month doesnt have laundry facilities, and Im always trying to save a buck or two. According to the Internet, hand-washing clothes in a tub is effective yet hard labor. Eh. Might be stress relieving?

My dad just bought this new keyboard that glows a neon blue. Its so friggin' awesome, esp. in the dark.

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 22:59:32 GMT

I GOT THE APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Out of over 40 applicants, they picked ME! Can you believe it!? It'd be my own studio apt, no roommates! My own bathroom, my own kitchen... omg and they said I could paint and re-decorate! ....and flo and I are back to being best friends again. life is good. :-)

I mean... honestly this year has been really tough. Its been an emotional roller-coaster from day 1. So I really, REALLY appreciate these moments when life just work out so beautifully.

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 18:32:24 GMT

I went to look at an apartment today!

It's a studio apartment in a basement of a couple's home. The place is small, dark, with no ac and no washer or dryer. There's no driveway and its in a so-so neighborhood. But honestly I love it. Its so quaint. Just big enough for me. AND it's just a ten minute drive from the inner city! :-) HOWEVER, there are four other interested people, so I have a one and five chances of getting it.

Tue, 08 Jul 2008 16:29:56 GMT

I just got off the phone with a potential roommate. The apartment is just a few miles away from my school, and the rent is reasonable. The only downfall is that my bedroom would literally be the size of a walk-in closet. six feet wide only.

EDIT: ....suddenly Im not feeling so confident. Whats so great about living in a room the size of a large closet, anyway? And I found this woman's myspace page. For a career it says she's a "fire spinner" and she has all these photos of herself in circus-like outfits spinning flaming hula hoops and handling snakes. 0_0 Im starting to freak out about this.

EDIT: .....so flame-thrower snake lady is out of the picture.

Wedding rant

Fri, 20 Jun 2008 18:14:36 GMT

Why do weddings have to be so expensive? The average cost for one is between $14,000- $43,000. Call me selfish, but I never found a problem with asking the guests to bring their own food for a pot-luck style. For drinks, I'd rather just stop by the grocery store the day before and stock up on everyone's favorite beer and cheap wine. And these little gifts that are given to each of the guests - isn't it enough just to invite the person? And why does everyone need a formal invitation? I'd rather send out emails. Email is free. Eh. My future mother and father in laws like to go all out with all the designer clothing and expensive food and caterers dressed in fancy suits. Psh. If they want that, they're gunna pay for it, not me. 'Cause my parents ain't helpin' and Im in debt.

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 22:30:49 GMT

In the ten months that John and I have been together, I sent him an angry text last night for the first time ever. Later on I felt really bad about it - it doesn't matter that I had every reason to be upset. Writing angry texts is unacceptable. So this morning I texted him saying, "Sorry for being cranky last night :-( " Wondering why he never replied, I double checked my phone and realized I sent the text to my mom instead! lol.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 22:13:47 GMT

Oh. my. gosh. Tomorrow Im gunna be in LA!

My number one worry is that something goes wrong during the travel - what if my car breaks down on the way to the airport? What if theres some random problem with my itenarary? What if my first flight is delayed and Im late for my second flight? And what if I get stuck sitting next to the worst person in the world?

From start to finish, though, its gunna be almost 15 HOURS of traveling - including driving to and from the airport, both flights, and the layover. :-(

finances

Fri, 30 May 2008 20:45:53 GMT

I'm really trying to get out of debt. And the day that day comes, I think Im gunna go out and celebrate. But I feel like I have a better handle on my finances now. ....at least for the time being. Its just confusing because at the moment, I have THREE bank accounts. (Im canceling two next month, however). Im also learning the importance of writing down EVERYTHING. I'm also going to stop using my debit card for silly little purchases - its too easy to lose track of how much Im really spending. ......I feel better already. :-)

Sun, 25 May 2008 22:42:54 GMT

I swear, sometimes, my boyfriend drives me nuts. .....I love him. .....but he drives me nuts.

Fri, 23 May 2008 18:22:57 GMT

I signed up for Bank of America today. Up to this point Ive been using a local bank in Massachusetts, but I'm not gunna drive two hours to make a deposit. Neat thing is, my debit card will have my photo on it for added security, AND it has a Red Sox logo/background on it! The guy suggested I get a Patriots logo, to which I responded, "Oh, my boyfriend would KILL me." 'Cause in John's mind, the New England Patriots are quite possibly more evil than the devil. :-)

Thu, 15 May 2008 23:14:36 GMT

I am THIS close to ending my contract with Verizon. Last month, they screwed up my bill - the lady on the phone even ADMITTED they screwed up my bill and they insisted they couldnt do anything about it. So, last month, I paid $180-something dollars for something that honestly wasn't my fault. Now this month, they are saying I owe them $231. I haven't even used up all my minutes, and just 3 weeks ago I had a zero balance. If they screw me over this month then I not even gunna think twice about dropping them for good.

HAHA

Sat, 10 May 2008 02:09:01 GMT

I was just at the liquor store to get some beer when I saw a drink I'd never heard of: "Green Monsta Ale." I suppose that would only be hilarious to Bostonians or people from the area. The Green Monsta is the left field wall at Fenway Park where the Red Sox play and is actually quite popular. Apparently tomorrow is Beer Fest, so the guy at the store said I could come back tomorrow for a free sample of this ale. Mmmm. I just might do that. :-)

Mon, 05 May 2008 01:54:59 GMT

For the longest time, I have bragged about Verizon and their awesomeness. But for a couple weeks now, I have been thinking about switching to Cingular/ AT&T. Why? My phone bill this month SHOULD have been around 60 bucks. But instead it read $231.16! I called them up and they admitted they made a mistake and said that they MIGHT be able to knock off $121 or so. But they are also claiming I missed a payment. .....I dont miss payments. I dont. In the 3 years that I have been paying my own phone bill, I have been late on a payment once, and only by a few days. If Verizon screws me over, then Im sorry.... I may end up switching providers.

Sun, 04 May 2008 05:28:35 GMT

At 1:30am, Monica sent me a text saying how excited she was that I would be moving in.

........she didn't get my email saying that I was turning the offer down.

Wow.....excuse the language but I feel like shit. I just let someone down majorly. They were counting on ME for this months rent. Guess I let them down.

Sun, 04 May 2008 02:48:16 GMT

I had an emotional breakdown at work today.

Before I said a thing, TWO co-workers came up to me and was like, "Rachel, what the heck is wrong with you? Are you ok?" Guess I couldn't hide it. This whole apartment thing has really gotten to me - At first I was excited about the apartment, but at the same time, scared. I'd be having a million different bills to pay each month (rent, electric, cable, phone, credit card, groceries, etc). Plus I'd be moving in with TOTAL strangers in an unfamiliar neighborhood, living in (quite frankly) a run down apartment and living in a room so small that I didn't see a possible way to fit it all in (and I dont have that much stuff). On top of all that, my hours at work keep getting cut and theres no sign of me getting more anytime soon. And with all those bills to pay, Im not sure I could even pay them, even WITH help from my parents. So all of this emotion and drama hit me all at once at work tonight and I was pale as a ghost. I actually had to retreat into the fitting rooms - I curled up in a corner and called my dad, begging him to let me move back in with him and my mom. At least for a while until I get my life straightened out. I just really, REALLY need to stop and put God first in my decision making again.

Fri, 02 May 2008 01:49:30 GMT

I GOT AN APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So I went to visit the place today. Its a tiny little place above a hair salon. It's very plain, hardly furnished, and my room is incredibly small. Not to mention there's no driveway, I'd have to do my laundry at the laundry mat down the street, and I am completely unfamiliar with the town. I havent even MET two of my roommates, and the third is still a practical stranger to me. Also, I will be making my own payments on rent, electric, and cable. I will be doing my own grocery shopping. Everything. This is a big step for me. When I moved in with the Dix's, I at least knew the people, and there were no additional bills. This is like... the next big step.

As psyched as I am......... I'm very sad. Part of me is homesick for my current home which I havent even moved out of yet. I just...... am going to have a hard time adjusting, I think. This is a huge step.

Got a photo of it on google maps. Its the right side of the top floor of the gray building.

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 23:48:15 GMT

OMG. I emailed what sounded like the PERFECT roommates. Their apartment is in an amazing location, with a great low price, and their personalities seem identical to mine. The room availible is furnished. The girls specifically said they like the place clean, quiet, drama-free, and they love getting together as room mates to cook or socialize. They also want someone with a sense of humor, but someone who wont smoke or throw parties. This is exactly me. So I emailed them and one of the girls wants to meet with me tomorrow!!!!

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 17:24:37 GMT

This morning I walked up to David (the home owner). I handed him a check saying, "Here's this month's rent." He looked at it, really confused and said, "I thought you were moving out?"

Guess that kinda hurt. Maybe I SHOULD have moved back in with my parents over the summer. At least I'd feel more welcome. And I even got a call back from a woman asking about an interview, but I turned it down just yesterday. *sigh*

Tue, 29 Apr 2008 21:56:07 GMT

Sooooooo bored! Im not used to this!

My job still isn't giving me enough hours (12/week). Im not going to school. And I dont have enough money to go out and have fun. I've been in this house for 2 days straight and the next three days are gunna be the same .....unless I visit my parents, but then they will yell at me for "wasting" the gas money to go see them. *sigh*

This is gunna be a long ass summer.

desperate

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 23:26:44 GMT

Im beginning to feel more pressure to find another place to live. Problem is, everything is so darn expensive here in MA! Please, anyone.... move to Boston and be my roommate. Please? I will love you for evah! AND I'll bake you cookies. Promise.

.....Oh heres a better idea - I could live in a box in a dark alley.